"More is Better" is False
If only you had that red car, then you would be happy. If only you could get that promotion or that cool job, then you could really be happy. If only you had “more,” then your life would be perfect. Do you remember High School graduation? Do you remember the hours that you spent dreaming about how great it would be to graduate? Did your dreams come true? Graduation is a terrific accomplishment, yet for many the accomplishment was anticlimactic. What is happening here?
Graduating students become accustomed to the idea that they are graduating. When a desired goal has been achieved, most people initially feel exhilaration. However, over time that exhilaration wears off. Studies have measured the level of happiness in lottery winners. True enough, new lottery winners rate themselves as being very happy. However, six months later the happiness levels of lottery winners return to their original value. The mind adapts to the environment in which it is placed. Millionaires grow accustomed to making millions, and the same is true in reverse; criminals who spend 20 or 30 years in prison become accustomed to prison.
Graduating students think that graduation will solve all their problems and make them happy. Byron Katie calls the act of wishing for more “kicking yourself out of heaven.” A state of contentment is often what is present prior to one’s wish for more. After one creates the idea of needing more in their mind, suddenly current reality is no longer good enough; you have kicked yourself out of heaven. Can you really know that if your wish were granted that you would truly be happier? Can a teenager really know that graduation will make them happier? Wanting more adds conditions to your happiness. When your happiness is conditional, your happiness is dependant on the outcome of external events. When your happiness is dependant on external events you are giving away your power to be happy. You are on precarious ground when you rely on external events to make you happy; external events are not always under your control.
Recognize that the need to have more is false and then choose to be happy in the moment no matter what.
December 10th, 2006 at 12:52 am
[...] No goal can be achieved without effort. Some argue that striving for happiness is the surest way to loose it. While I see some merit in their arguments, I believe that supporters of this line of reasoning are a little confused. Refusing to pursue happiness as a means to pursue happiness is really just pursuing happiness but by other means. It is true that the earth is being destroyed by those pursuing happiness. However, those who pursue happiness by acquiring material goods are suffering from a tragic misunderstanding (see my article “More is Better” is False). The devastation of the earth’s natural resources can ultimately be blamed not on the pursuit of happiness itself, but on a misguided philosophy that equates material goods with happiness. Bookmark to: [...]