Addicted to Unhappiness
I am reading a new book. Right now, I am about three-quarters of the way through it. The book is called Addicted to Unhappiness and it is about people who engage in self-destructive behavior. The premise of the author’s argument is that when we were young, we believed that our parents were perfect and knew what was best for us all the time. When our parents chastised us as a form of punishment, we innocently believed that the negative feelings that were felt were well deserved. As we grew older, we took over our parent’s role as the chastiser and chastised ourselves. As adults, we think self-judgmental thoughts as a misdirected way of “doing the right thing” and soothing ourselves. In effect, we become addicted to our own negative thinking; we mistakenly believe that negative thoughts are beneficial.
I thought that the premise was intriguing, and possibly correct. What can explain why we bombard ourselves with negative judgments? If we can get to know this, then perhaps we can turn-off this tendency. Or at least, we can turn down the volume to spare us some grief.
The idea that negative self-judgments are a way to sooth ourselves is especially intriguing. I admit that I do have a tendency to dwell on the negative aspects of certain situations frequently, and for what purpose I do not know. My internal negative dialogue seems to do little more than further upset me. I think that it sometimes inhibits, rather than promotes, physical action to solve the problem. There does seem to be a cathartic effect that arises from making negative judgments.
