Mental Discipline, A Cure for Envy
Envy, or comparative thinking, is a powerful source of unhappiness. Envy is the source of the need to keep up with the Joneses.
I have a more than adequate salary, and I live in a more than adequate house. Nevertheless, when I compare what I have to others, particularly those more fortunate than I, I feel unhappy and frustrated. I am especially frustrated when I see no apparent differences between me and the fortunate person.
The fact is, no matter what my salary, I can always find someone who routinely makes twice as much.
As I walk out my front door, I might notice a sunny day and singing birds and feel happy. In an envious mood I might think, well, the days in Cancun Mexico are twice as sunny, and the tropical birds in Cancun sing songs that are twice as beautiful. This comparison immediately diminishes my enjoyment of the sun and birds in front of me.
Comparative thinking prevents me from enjoying myself to the fullest in the present moment by distracting me with exaggerated and probably untrue beliefs.
Use mental discipline to stop envious thinking. Moreover, if you engage in comparative thinking, remember to analyze critically the reality of the situation of the Joneses.
- Is it true that the days in Cancun are twice as sunny?
- Is it true that people with large houses and money are happier than I am?
Very often, we fail to remember the downside of money, fame and power. True powerful people can change the world, yet often their every move is criticized and monitored by many people.
March 6th, 2007 at 6:10 pm
I agree. It is very easy to forget about those less fortunate than you and focus only on those who are better off. We always think we are worse off than we really are.
For some reason, I guess the way our society works, we always want more. More money, more power, more fame, more knowledge. We’re never satisfied. This is the root cause of unhappiness.
But how can you live and interact with other people chasing “the more” and avoid this pitfall yourself? I think this is the great challenge of modern life.
March 7th, 2007 at 2:51 am
Are Ambition and Gratitude Mutually Exclusive?…
If you’re new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed or email updates. Thanks for visiting!Continuing the Discussion
When I wrote this post about achieving happiness through a lie, I wasn’t sure what type of reaction to expect.
The disc…
September 21st, 2007 at 7:55 pm
Hi all!
Excellent work… much respect dudes…
October 16th, 2007 at 1:35 am
Let me start off by saying that I have been dating a lot lately.
There is this one girl I have been seeing who I wasn’t that interested in at first, but as time went on I was thinking that maybe I should give her a chance.
I met her in a bar. The first time I approached her, we chatted for a bit. i was going to leave soon and I asked for her number. She was like “I don’t meet people in bars.” So I talke dto her a little more and when I had her laughing again – I was like “I better go before you start liking someone you met in a bar.” So I bolted. The next weekend, I bumped into her again at the same place and she gave me her #.
So anyway, this girl and I have had multiple dates. I have taken her to dinner, drinks, a show… etc. This is over a period of 1-2 months. She has mentioned many times “that I have good qualities” and things of that nature.
Last weekend, we hung out both Friday and Saturday night. We even talked about possibly seeing more of each other.
We get back to my place, I sat on my couch and she on the loveseat. It wasn’t long before she got up, sat down beside me, and the next thing I know she is on my lap, making out heavily.
The next night, we went out again, and she was very touchy-feely once again. I purposely sat back and let her make the moves.
It was like 3 AM Sunday morning, she was laying on my couch. I told her I was headed to bed and she could join if she wanted- or I would fetch her a blanket to sleep on the couch. She seemed indecisive so I just went to bed. When I woke she was gone, which was cool…
So, fast forward 2 days later. I call the girl to say hello and make small talk. Somehow we get on the conversation of what transpired on the weekend and she flat out said she “made a mistake”.
That really blew me away. I mean I let this make all the moves only to turn around and say what she did like I somehow pressured her?
I told her that this would be pretty much it for us and I don’t understand.
Then she breaks out the whole relationship talk…. uggh. Claiming “I am not ready for a relationship.” I am just sitting there wondering where that even came from!
I was like “can’t we just go back to enjoying each other’s company?” and “why do we have to label it?”
I just can’t bring myself to hang with a girl who claims making out with me is a MISTAKE. So I told her to go away….
I just find the whole thing very peculiar.
Her body languages says one thing and her mouth speaks another…
December 5th, 2007 at 11:37 am
So dear readers forum! What in your view should be present man? What qualities have? What should be able to do?
Interested in your opinion?
P.S. Please administrator thinkhappythoughts.com. If the thread is not to be in category this, I ask you to move my thread to the correct category.
December 24th, 2007 at 9:45 pm
Happy christmas, guys!
Happy christmas to all bloggers and readers!