Happiness and Self-Deception
I am sometimes skeptical of those who report that they are happy.
Our American culture expects, even demands, that every American say that they are happy. After all, you live in America, the greatest country in the world. If you are not happy, then something must be wrong with you.
I have had my share of experiences where, say at a dinner party, someone declares that they are very happy; perhaps they also share a terrific experience about a recent vacation. I begin to admire how happy they are, being thoroughly convinced. Moments later, however, I see them struggling with their two children saying epithets under their breath, and then I see them sitting all by themselves in a chair simply staring into space.
I think that sometimes people say that they are happy because they think they have to say it.
Another explanation is that, people may think they are happy, yet be wrong. Is this possible? Can you mistakenly believe that you are happy?
April 27th, 2007 at 3:44 pm
Such good questions. Your blog reminds me of some of the thoughts and questions Karen Salmansohn asks at her blog at www.notsalmon.com and on her sirius radio show BE HAPPY DAMMIIT. She wrote a book called HOW TO BE HAPPY DAMMIT which she jokingly refers to as the CYNIC’S guide to happiness!!!!
April 27th, 2007 at 4:58 pm
I agree with you…it’s the same in Canada (and I may add, a fantastic country!). I think it is easier for one to say they’re happy so as not to get into all the nitty gritty details about what’s troubling them. Thus, they don’t have to think about what ails them, nor do they need to “bother” anyone else with it. I’m not suggesting this is healthy by any means, but that’s the way it is from my view.
I agree, being from a developed country, there is lots of pressure to say “I’m doing great, and you?”.
Secondly, I don’t think people mistakenly believe they are happy. Sure, they may be naive. But, deep inside they have a sense of how they really feel. Perhaps they are unwilling to acknowledge it or they don’t know how to articulate what it is they’re feeling. Some people just choose to portray an entirely different image.