I have a mental habit where I set up two opposing options in my mind. These options are exactly opposite and each represents a deeply held personal need. Confronted with the need to decide between these two options, I debate the choice endlessly with myself and lament that I cannot satisfy both needs at the same time.

For example, I have a commitment to my family and a need to work for money to help support them. I also have a deeply held commitment to learning and I would love to return to college.

I create a false dilemma or dichotomy in my mind; I can either go to work or college. I then debate the finer points of each option and finally mourn that I cannot satisfy both of my needs.

Happiness provides a ready solution…combine false dichotomies.

Anytime you are confronted with a choice between two opposites, remember that 99% of the time, the existence of only two options is illusory. The reality is that there are always more than two choices (except perhaps in mathematics).

Common examples of combining false dichotomies:

1. I can’t eat and loose weight at the same time. Answer: Become a low fat vegetarian and eat as many fruits and vegetables as you want while losing weight.
2. I can’t work and go to college at the same time. Answer: Try online classes or visit the library and start a personal learning program.
3. I can’t satisfy my need to travel without money. Answer: Travel locally and discover the people and places within your state using inexpensive road trips.

The trick is to recognize the false dilemma and satisfy both your needs by combining the two divergent options into one solution.

Have your cake and eat it too.  

This entry was posted on Sunday, April 29th, 2007 at 2:21 pm and is filed under Happiness. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.