Some of the more persistent day-to-day emotional pain that we bring upon ourselves comes from negative judgments about our own behavior. We have regrets about what we should or shouldn’t have done. With hindsight, we can apparently see what behavior might have been best, or at least better. 

Regret can cause great emotional pain. The indicators are, 

1. Obsessions about a past event, and the resulting inattentive behavior (e.g., poor driving)
2. Private rehearsals of more preferred behavior
3. Self-blame and self-chastisement

Self-punishment of this type, if it has any benefit at all, works to remind you of your error so that next time you do not make the mistake again.

But is there a way to self-correct without all the emotional pain?

Maybe. Try this, 

1. Upon recognizing the error, write it down
2. Sit-down and analyze the error at a scheduled time
3. Identify what triggers the erroneous behavior
4. Identify a substitute behavior
5. Set up reminders that remind you to switch to the substitute behavior 
6. Test the new behavior

What I am realizing is that emotional pain is often viewed as useful because of how it triggers greater awareness. I suggest as an alternative that one simply decide to be more aware.

I would like to make the emotional pain unnecessary. Do you think that this is possible?

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 10th, 2007 at 2:13 pm and is filed under Happiness. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.